Critical Race Theory is being met with skepticism in Utah and across the nation. And I understand why: It’s always better to find a solution to a manufactured problem before the pretend problem becomes a real problem. That’s what the Democrats did with Covid. Now it’s our turn to take back the narrative and our country.
Like most Utahns, I’ve never read CRT. Nor do I plan on it. Like the Quran, I don’t need to read it to know it’s blasphemous and a blatant counterfeit of QAnon designed to deceive the hearts of men from the one and only true Q. Now the adversary is doing the same thing with CRT—deliberately trying to conflate it with CTR (a Mormon acronym for “Choose the Right).
Critical Race Theory, after all, is just that—a theory. I don’t believe anything unless it can be proven as fact. Take the election. Nobody can prove Joe Biden won—that would require Rush Limbaugh telling me he did. And since he passed away (may He Rest In Peace), Donald J. Trump is my president.
“Theories” have never advanced society. Just look at the theory of evolution. A theory about people evolving is obviously an attempt to keep us from advancing as a species. And just like the theory of evolution was a vast conspiracy to undermine our faith in God, so too is Critical Race Theory. In fact, I’m so against the theory of evolution I oppose any form of progress, whether it be my understanding of the world in which we leave or how we should teach our children. Take that, Darwin.
CRT is nothing but a communist plot to indoctrinate our children. Instead of forcibly indoctrinating our children with CRT, teachers should use that time to mandate kids participate in the Pledge of Allegiance. How else will they come to appreciate the freedoms they enjoy living in America (assuming, of course, they and their parents were born on American soil)?
CRT will be used as the engine for cancel culture. Dixie State, where I would have gone if I went to college, now faces threat of a name change simply because the name “Dixie” hearkens back to a time and place where people owned other people. How would you like it if someone were to tell you that you should no longer refer to me as Mormon just because we don’t like the message that sends anymore? Not that we’d ever cancel the term “Mormon”.
Proponents of CRT say it teaches the unvarnished truth about American history. But these same people want to tear down confederate statues and flags. They don’t care about history. My kids could learn far more from a statue in Georgia they’ll never see than they could ever learn from in-person instruction at their school.
The Founders never talked about racism, which is why it didn’t exist back then. The Founders forever pre-empted racism when they declared “all men are created equal” in the Bill of Rights. Anyone who thinks otherwise clearly doesn’t understand history. They wouldn’t have said that if racism existed. It’s only when people start talking about it does it actually happen.
So let’s stop talking about it. And stop calling me racist.
Editor’s Note: This is satire. Sort of.
