It is said that there are two kinds of people in Utah: those who live in St. George and those who
wish they lived in St. George. It seems that southern Utah is heaven for retired people. This is
the reason that the hubby and I retired, packed up and moved south to the land of sunshine,
golfing, and the perpetual pursuit of fun. We found lots of all that and more.
For example, there are innumerable doctors in St. George, which just happens to be very good
for us. Everyone here has a chemo day. Wanna go to lunch Tuesday? Nope, that’s my chemo
day; how about Wednesday? Nope, that’s my chemo day. If you are an oncologist, you want to
move to St. George. Really! We are your people, and we have insurance! The plethora of
doctors is a big plus at our house because we often frequent the offices of multiple cancer
doctors, sometimes more than one a day. It’s like a hobby. We keep finding ourselves in the
world of biopsies and scans. Who would have thought?
St. George has lots of HOA’s. In northern Utah you could put a junk car in your yard or paint
your house bright blue and while the neighbors might not like it, there pretty much wasn’t
anything to be done. Enter the HOA. Here’s how it works: you pay a big bunch of money every
month and then you may ask permission to park your car in the driveway, plant a bush, or put
up a Christmas wreath. In return for all your money and requesting permission for everything,
you may go to the pool. Sometimes. Maybe not if the HOA board is concerned about the
Coronavirus that week. The HOA even has legal power and they love to levy fines on
homeowners and if you want to fight, they are happy to go to court. Hey, we are all retired and
we have nothing else to do now, right? We have rules and it’s up to you to read the small print!
The minute we moved into our nice, little neighborhood of retired folks, I found myself the Vice
President of the HOA and there wasn’t even an election in which case I would have voted
against myself. I don’t even know how all that happened.
The other thing you will find in St. George is lots of attorneys. Remember how I said there was a
large population of retired people here? Well, we are all very busy with our wills, trusts,
advance directives, and trying to figure out how to make sure that we keep our hard-earned
dollars out of the grasping hands of the tax man, today, tomorrow, or when we kick the bucket
which could be any minute for most of us. For this effort we need lawyers, and they abound on
every corner. Business is booming for them. And, when we finish drawing up the will, we can
always prepare a suit against the Home-Owners Association. My favorite northern Utah lawyer
took one look at me and my new friends and promptly began the process of opening an office
in St. George. He’s no dummy.
My New Year’s resolution is to visit with all my legislators. I know them from my years as a
university employee when as such, they had no need to pay any attention to anything I had to
say. However, now I am a constituent and I hear they really listen to constituents because we
have all the time in the world to talk to our golfing buddies, the HOA board, and all our retired
friends who actually vote in sunny St. George. You will want to hear how that goes.
Well, I have to go now. There is an HOA board meeting this morning. The agenda is packed.
Some guy left a wheelbarrow on the side of his house and we are getting ready to fine him. I’m
not making this up. This afternoon I have an appointment with yet another surgeon, and then
I’m working on the family trust. And, while I’m doing all this the hubby is spending the day
golfing in the sunshine. Don’t you wish you lived in St. George?
